Working on Inspiration

The original version:

I'm inspired, fizzing
with desire to share these thoughts
carbonated mind

29.10.14

It felt right when I wrote it but when I looked at it again later it no longer seemed to fit. I liked the third line so kept that and tried to come up with an image to go with it that worked a little better.

The first version has greater immediacy but is more disjointed; the third line seems to sit on its own too much.